Kurt Hurley: Truth

Shyness… Boy was this ever my greatest enemy, probably still is to some degree…but shhh! Don’t say it out loud, it just might hear you. Shyness is an ever-increasing problem, fostered many feel, by the technology prevalent in todays society. Online dating, email, text messaging and virtual anonymity are realities in today’s world. For most of us, these are merely conveniences; but for many, these are simply ways to avoid directly connecting to others. They are literally in hiding from the world. Reaching out and touching someone is terrifying to the seriously shy and socially phobic. There’s much less awkwardness when dealing with others via the internet. No one would see them or hear them; they feel safe. 

For many, it’s only in unfamiliar situations that they show symptoms of shyness. They’re perfectly fine in normal situations; they know how to act and what to say. Anything different throws them for a loop and into a panic. A crowded room becomes a scene of terror for the socially phobic. 

The problem is they tend to avoid the unfamiliar at all costs. The more they avoid it, the worse the fear becomes. By not allowing themselves to experience something new, they are in fact perpetuating the fear. 

Shyness occurs in different degrees, in different people. There are actors who may be bold and outgoing on camera, but become shy and soft-spoken when speaking one-on-one with an interviewer, I myself am a little like this. Some people might be open and comfortable with their own gender, but become absolutely tongue-tied around the opposite sex, this is a little me too. There are others who are happy and outgoing with their friends and family, and clam up anytime strangers enter the picture. 

Most people attempt to hide their shyness and many may not even appear to be shy, nervous, or ill at ease. However, attempting to hide the shyness does not lessen the suffering it causes. It’s always there, under the surface, no matter how hard they try to hide their misery. So, here is my advise…yes, we are all a little shy. But the trick to overcoming the ill-effects of this possibly crippling disorder is to just do whatever it is that you are avoiding. Plow through it like a freight train! I know it’s tough, it’s scary, a little painful…but I have found that it is in the things that we DON’T do that are the measure of what we can become! Peace for now… Kurt Lee Hurley